


Jealousy

by InWayTooManyFandoms



Category: Monsta X (Band)
Genre: Drabble, Fluff, M/M, Monsta X Ray 3, Sad
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-08-16
Updated: 2018-08-22
Packaged: 2019-06-18 02:05:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,349
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15475089
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/InWayTooManyFandoms/pseuds/InWayTooManyFandoms
Summary: a short drabble based off the short showki interview in mx ray 3(which has slowly become a chaptered fic)





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> enjoyyyyyy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> writing this made me kinda sad.

_**"between Yeoju and Sangah, who's closer to your ideal type?"** _

_**"Sangah is rather coy"** _

_**"but when I acted Yeoju, I was very sincere. I don't think they're being very sincere about the role"** _

_**"it's because it's still early"** _

 

That conversation stuck in his mind for the rest of the day. Playing over and over again.

 

_should I have acted differently to how I did?_

 

Kihyun tried not to take what Shownu said to heart. It was just another act in the end. A little extra interview piece for entertainment purposes.

 

_how was he meant to know that I meant sincere as in my own feelings_

 

Being Yeoju gave them time together, and even if it was just for the camera, Kihyun treasured the moments they spent together.

 

……

 

During their filming, Changkyun had asked repeatedly how Kihyun managed to act so well with Shownu. Especially as they weren't dating each other.

 

On the nth time, Kihyun snapped.

 

"Oh, why are you talking about Shownu again?" Kihyun asked exasperated.

 

"I just find it really cool how you did that. Even Minhyuk thought you two together had a couple feeling."

 

"But we aren't a couple"

 

"Yeah I know, that's why we're so impressed with the acting."

 

"I'd really like to not discuss this anymore."

 

Having sensed the change in mood, Changkyun nodded and walked away.

 

**a couple days later**

 

"Kihyun- ah" Shownu said, sitting down next to Kihyun on the sofa. "Are you sulking?"

 

"Hmmm?" he replied, taking out one of his earphones.

 

"Why are you sulking?"

 

"Oh. I'm not."

 

"The other members and I have noticed you haven't exactly been yourself recently. What's up?"

 

Kihyun laughed nervously, "hahaha, it's nothing. Don't worry".

 

"You haven't nagged at us to clean up the dishes or even tidy up the dorm."

 

"Yea-"

 

"And as the leader of Monsta X, I have to ask what's wrong and see if I can help."

 

Kihyun sighed, then put his earphone back in.

 

"Kihyun. I'm still talking to you."

 

"Yeah, but I'm not in the mood today for your lecture."

 

Kihyun relaxed himself against the coffee coloured sofa, pressing play on his phone before closing his eyes.

 

"Usually you would at least humour me", Shownu muttered to himself.

 

After a short moment of contemplation, Shownu pulled out both of Kihyun's earphones.

 

"What?" he asked, feeling more than annoyed.

 

"Do you want a hug?" Shownu questioned shyly, chuckling a little at the end.

 

"WhAT? ??"

 

"I asked if you wanted a hug," Shownu clarified. "Nevermind, I'll be off."

 

He stood up ready to retire to his dorm room.

 

"Wait, sorry" Kihyun grabbed onto Shownu's arm. "Sorry, I'll uhhh- I'll accept the hug."

 

Shownu smiled slightly, before leaning down and embracing the younger in a soft hug.

 

Kihyun felt the heat rise to his face, his body not moving. But he soon came to his senses and reciprocated the hug.

 

"Thanks hyung" he said as they seperated.

 

"No problems" Shownu replied. But he couldn't help notice that Kihyun looked sadder than before.

 

He stood in the doorway as he watched Kihyun fumble with his sleeves on his hoodie.

 

_he only does that if he's about to cry_

 

"I'm- I'm okay," he said, voice wobbling. "You can go."

 

Shownu cleared his throat. "Of course, I'll be in my room if you need me."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> do you guys like the cliffhanger?? or rather have me finish with a happier ending?


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so the votes are in . . . . .  
> cliffhanger: 0  
> fluff: 6 and counting
> 
> time for some hugs and kisses
> 
> alsooo, thank you so much for your comments, I haven't replied to them as they would all be saying that this chapter is out haha. but anyhow, lets read

Shownu retired to his room. He sighed and slumped against the wooden door behind him.

 

_why do I have to care so much? maybe I should go back out there? maybe now is the time to confess?_

 

The elder shook the thought out of his head. He couldn't possibly burden Kihyun with his feelings especially as the younger was working through his own.

 

_its not about me right now_

 

_but maybe he needs to know someone cares for him, that that someone wants to see him happy and smiling again_

 

He flopped down onto the spare bed in his room. The bed was there since every bedroom had two beds, and he just happened to get his own personal room because the others insisted on it.

 

_then again he did say he'd be okay_

 

_tHATS CLEARLY A LIE_

 

_but do I choose to believe him and respect that?_

 

_even when its so clear that he is downcast and needs company_

 

_?? ?_

 

After about 10 minutes of arguing with himself, Shownu got off the bed and walked to the kitchen to make some hot chocolate. While waiting for the milk to heat up he went back to his room and brought some blankets with him.

 

He re-entered the front room soon after armed with level 10 warmth; on either of his arms were blankets and each holding a mug of hot chocolate.

 

Kihyun notices his arrival and quickly moves to rub his sleeves against his face.

 

 _so he was crying_ , he sighed internally

 

Shownu draped one blanket over Kihyun's shoulders before putting the drinks onto the coffee table and sitting next to him on the sofa. He raised an arm up to let the younger settle into his side, which he did.

 

Tentatively, Shownu glances down at Kihyun's face, only to be met with fresh tears. His chest tightened, heart hurt at the sight. He wiped away the tears with his free hand, causing Kihyun to look up at him.

 

_he looks so small. I want to protect him as long as the world will allow me_

 

His body reacted to that thought on its own, squeezing the other tightly.

 

"Want to talk about it?"

 

Kihyun shook his head.

 

"Okay"

 

Shownu passed one of the mugs to Kihyun and they both drank the chocolate. Once they finished drinking, they decided to rearrange themselves so Kihyun's front was lying against Shownu's chest. 

 

Time passed quickly and slowly simultaneously. It was too fast, both members wanted to savour the moment. To take a picture and keep the essence of the peacefulness. But too slow, Shownu wanted Kihyun to feel better; and Kihyun wanted out for something he thought he could never truly get.

 

Shownu didn't know when Kihyun stopped crying, but he kept his tender hold on him. And had soon fallen asleep.

 

Minhyuk walked in noisly talking to Wonho, "OMG. I just found this new TV show-"

 

Kihyun groaned softly in response to the sound, evidently displeased.

 

"Shhh." Shownu pointed to the sleeping vocalist.

 

"Oh. I'm sorry" the other whispered back before tiptoeing and closing the door softly.

 

There were a series of 'shhh's as Minhyuk told everyone to be quiet.

 

Shownu chuckled fondly at Minhyuk's actions.

 

Unbeknownst to the eldest, Kihyun had woken up from the noise. But he was pretending to sleep, in order to fall back asleep properly.

 

"Time to get you to bed eh?" Shownu yawned. "You might as well stay in my room, since I have the spare bed."

 

He gently lifted the younger up and off the sofa and navigated back to his room.

 

He settled Kihyun down on the bed, brushing the hair off of his forehead.

 

"I wish I could tell you how much I like you when you're awake. But you don't need that." He said quietly, then even quieter, ". . . . and . . . . . . I'm scared".

 

There was a long pause before he continued.

 

"So I guess, I like you. I really like you Kihyun", he confessed. Then he planted a small kiss to his temple, running his hand through Kihyun's soft hair.

 

Kihyun was now fully awake and he was busy processing the information. His eyes were closed but his mind was whirring.

 

_he likes me??? HE likes me? he LIKES me?? ? he likes ME???? HE LIKES ME!!? ???!!! !!_

 

Shownu sighed before going to his own bed. He got undressed, and slipped under the duvet; trying to make himself comfortable.

 

"Good night"

 

For a long while Kihyun remained awake, even after the older had fallen asleep. It felt like the duvet had gained weight, pressing against his hammering chest. Shownu's words were keeping him up.

 

Shownu liked him back. His crush was interested in him. It wasn't a one-sided feeling. They had a chance if they wanted to take it. Were they going to take it?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> now its time to write another chapter and WRAP THIS UPP

**Author's Note:**

> in other news, follow me on tumblr @mxshowki for more monsta x content


End file.
